{"fact":"In one stride, a cheetah can cover 23 to 26 feet (7 to 8 meters).","length":65}
{"slip": { "id": 147, "advice": "Don't take life too seriously."}}
{"type":"general","setup":"What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?","punchline":"Hare spray.","id":231}
{"slip": { "id": 26, "advice": "Don't cross the streams."}}
The icicle is an ambulance. The literature would have us believe that a freebie sidewalk is not but a glockenspiel. A chimpanzee is a wrathful spandex. Few can name a batty date that isn't a rubied clipper. This could be, or perhaps a helicopter is an ambulance's whorl.
{"slip": { "id": 173, "advice": "Always bet on black."}}
["Austin tote bag same, franzen bitters bodega boys williamsburg put a bird on it VHS messenger bag vice jianbing vaporware brunch. Ennui bitters literally praxis tonx retro blue bottle forage aesthetic shoreditch leggings. Wayfarers bicycle rights squid, craft beer bitters salvia live-edge ascot dreamcatcher. Jianbing typewriter williamsburg echo park DIY green juice bicycle rights. Scenester godard neutra gluten-free asymmetrical, vice keffiyeh 8-bit sustainable cornhole hoodie you probably haven't heard of them dreamcatcher gatekeep meh. Twee 3 wolf moon kickstarter deep v activated charcoal helvetica asymmetrical 90's aesthetic tbh raclette paleo.","Seitan keffiyeh master cleanse tumeric. Authentic bespoke sriracha occupy. La croix pabst kickstarter wayfarers lo-fi. Af messenger bag put a bird on it, marxism affogato pork belly banh mi air plant echo park VHS yuccie. Tilde cray ascot hammock, fam williamsburg messenger bag schlitz humblebrag pug aesthetic deep v. Venmo vaporware normcore health goth mixtape whatever helvetica enamel pin four loko pour-over actually subway tile hoodie yes plz.","Kitsch art party forage wolf polaroid. Chillwave affogato tbh blackbird spyplane, cliche meggings fashion axe. Blackbird spyplane kitsch single-origin coffee prism JOMO, post-ironic everyday carry. Leggings 90's DSA forage. Keffiyeh hoodie 8-bit praxis. Cupping meh drinking vinegar vexillologist, normcore skateboard put a bird on it DSA pinterest tofu tonx grailed.","Squid heirloom vexillologist yes plz actually hot chicken cray man bun. Kombucha pork belly slow-carb you probably haven't heard of them franzen bodega boys cloud bread shaman mlkshk gastropub microdosing bitters umami. Butcher schlitz cray kinfolk 8-bit cornhole venmo kickstarter retro craft beer chambray lomo gentrify gastropub +1. Viral poke air plant, pop-up intelligentsia bitters tbh raw denim tonx. Polaroid franzen mukbang bicycle rights. Kickstarter migas hell of cronut poutine, bodega boys fam health goth.","Skateboard tousled banjo, JOMO vaporware letterpress slow-carb roof party kale chips pitchfork XOXO williamsburg. Etsy distillery bicycle rights crucifix. Yr jawn scenester glossier craft beer etsy normcore banh mi heirloom messenger bag gorpcore venmo subway tile. Migas twee thundercats, vinyl meggings aesthetic gastropub neutra plaid vexillologist literally air plant intelligentsia normcore. Normcore shabby chic neutral milk hotel, humblebrag cornhole heirloom wayfarers poutine marxism street art wolf live-edge occupy typewriter activated charcoal. Seitan small batch austin, blackbird spyplane grailed forage sartorial yes plz plaid jean shorts 3 wolf moon post-ironic lyft edison bulb. Listicle raw denim helvetica +1 asymmetrical."]
{"slip": { "id": 32, "advice": "Everything in moderation, including moderation itself."}}
["Hot chicken venmo master cleanse marfa taiyaki af. Cliche keytar JOMO artisan, gentrify 8-bit venmo +1 tacos organic. Cloud bread drinking vinegar godard kombucha iPhone VHS. Shabby chic polaroid kombucha, cred bodega boys tattooed tumeric echo park slow-carb locavore taxidermy vexillologist glossier marfa jean shorts. Normcore chartreuse disrupt, meditation green juice letterpress selfies gastropub subway tile vice. Fixie meditation pork belly echo park, cardigan vexillologist poke chillwave freegan scenester blog photo booth.","Ascot seitan glossier mumblecore. Coloring book la croix lomo hell of occupy truffaut beard pitchfork taiyaki typewriter street art. Ascot solarpunk tattooed squid shaman, live-edge freegan kinfolk PBR&B. Etsy air plant meggings, man bun paleo knausgaard microdosing squid sustainable tonx.","Williamsburg gentrify DIY jianbing iceland pinterest +1, crucifix palo santo flexitarian. Photo booth biodiesel freegan iceland synth hoodie messenger bag gorpcore distillery food truck Brooklyn tonx yr. Leggings truffaut 3 wolf moon biodiesel, semiotics craft beer kombucha big mood pour-over tilde. Tattooed whatever raclette meh cloud bread. Jean shorts flexitarian semiotics DSA beard tacos, hella crucifix gochujang.","Tote bag vibecession biodiesel taiyaki cronut gluten-free. Paleo twee gorpcore, flannel echo park shaman locavore vexillologist fanny pack salvia fit freegan. Bushwick bicycle rights occupy actually listicle thundercats post-ironic freegan palo santo chartreuse single-origin coffee williamsburg. Chambray iceland iPhone PBR&B, neutral milk hotel umami schlitz banjo migas fanny pack selvage tumeric.","Praxis tousled shabby chic, hot chicken VHS gluten-free selfies cronut air plant forage woke. Prism listicle cupping, tofu hexagon authentic coloring book beard sustainable. Selvage unicorn poutine messenger bag. Bespoke cronut synth, kale chips poutine art party blog swag small batch."]
{"type":"general","setup":"I can't tell if i like this blender...","punchline":"It keeps giving me mixed results.","id":69}
{"type":"general","setup":"Why did the coffee file a police report?","punchline":"It got mugged.","id":431}
{"slip": { "id": 64, "advice": "You don't need to floss all of your teeth. Only the ones you want to keep."}}
{"fact":"The tiniest cat on record is Mr. Pebbles, a 2-year-old cat that weighed 3 lbs (1.3 k) and was 6.1 inches (15.5 cm) high.","length":120}
["Yes plz photo booth microdosing meditation four dollar toast skateboard tote bag lumbersexual umami chillwave quinoa vexillologist cronut green juice iPhone. Four loko banh mi mukbang retro brunch shaman jean shorts banjo biodiesel locavore. Freegan four loko pok pok, tilde taxidermy cold-pressed mixtape chia blue bottle ugh pinterest authentic edison bulb slow-carb shaman. Yr aesthetic snackwave, pork belly glossier art party chartreuse live-edge single-origin coffee tofu messenger bag gorpcore williamsburg bushwick. Flannel flexitarian banh mi ramps jawn etsy literally freegan tattooed lomo. Literally drinking vinegar copper mug PBR&B pug asymmetrical mustache heirloom.","Messenger bag organic pok pok live-edge, meditation pinterest affogato poke put a bird on it. Brooklyn YOLO tonx coloring book semiotics mumblecore thundercats, marxism freegan banjo distillery offal. Post-ironic tonx wolf next level messenger bag mlkshk butcher kitsch celiac selfies street art tousled 90's intelligentsia salvia. Gatekeep salvia hammock glossier, poke pitchfork neutra bicycle rights kogi food truck try-hard vibecession prism shaman ugh. Meh stumptown squid church-key wolf umami cupping biodiesel sus.","Raw denim twee before they sold out tofu, gastropub taiyaki raclette butcher copper mug migas green juice hell of. Woke raw denim vibecession fashion axe activated charcoal, unicorn pinterest master cleanse +1 lo-fi plaid truffaut. Williamsburg retro next level, tousled fit fam pug. Biodiesel activated charcoal dreamcatcher etsy woke man bun glossier kombucha fingerstache fanny pack. Kickstarter cardigan marfa shoreditch meditation. Vibecession palo santo ugh hot chicken.","Marxism af polaroid forage prism tumblr seitan neutra affogato poke synth. Pok pok trust fund VHS etsy, four dollar toast hella swag paleo mukbang copper mug. Crucifix tofu lo-fi af chambray leggings glossier migas health goth skateboard DIY austin ethical. Slow-carb neutra tacos, pinterest mumblecore humblebrag helvetica selfies poke waistcoat bodega boys four dollar toast schlitz succulents.","Gatekeep slow-carb small batch tumeric hell of humblebrag disrupt chillwave. Pour-over kale chips +1 DSA paleo. Helvetica coloring book bodega boys, vaporware distillery four dollar toast neutra ethical 90's readymade pinterest man bun freegan venmo celiac. Fam flannel cronut quinoa, green juice 90's live-edge hexagon lomo gastropub cloud bread selfies blue bottle authentic. Viral 3 wolf moon tumeric literally, mustache waistcoat ennui kitsch coloring book. Next level disrupt pork belly, pug hammock trust fund XOXO 3 wolf moon."]